Smile :)

[English]

Customer: May I try on that blue suit in the window?
Salesman: No, sir. You'll have to use the dressing room.

-----
The patient is in the doctor's office, obviously distraught. "Doctor, my hair is falling out. Can you give me something to keep it in?"
The doctor responded, "How about a paper bag?"

[Amanda]

 
The second is cool!

[Mousee]

Cool jokes, but they are a bit cruel!

[Amanda]

Just a little=)))

[IZ]

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know! You are getting a ticket!"

[Amanda]

Funny!

"I don't care who you know!

brilliant*)))

[English]

Boss: That man next to you is doing twice as much work as you are!
Joe: I know that, sir. I keep telling him, but he won't slow down!

[marielina]

Customer: May I try on that blue suit in the window?
Salesman: No, sir. You'll have to use the dressing room.

Great!

[IZ]

Анекдот специально для лингвистов и переводчиков.
Встречаются на улице ЛОНДОНА два англичанина. ("1" и "2")
И происходит между ними такой диалог.
(1)- What clock?
(2)- Seven o`clock.
(1)- It much?
(2)- Of course.
(1)(радостно) - Finish МГИМО?
(2)- YEES!!!

[Amanda]

я, конечно, не лингвист, но сразу дошло =)

[IZ]

Премьера фильма "Му-му" в Америке. Кульминация: Герасим бросает за борт собачку и сдавленно мычит:
- Му-му...
Переводчик:
- Gооd bуе, mу bаbу...
Собачка ему в ответ:
- Буль-буль...
Переводчик:
- I`ll bе bасk!

[Amanda]

вот это ржач =)))))))))

[Caitlin]

It's not a funny story, but just a funny answer to questions like "So?", "So what?"

...
- So what?
- Sew buttons!

[WebTutor]

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Johnny: "Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king"

[IZ]

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Johnny: "Drin-king, smo-king and fuc-king"

OMG
What RUBBISH!

[Scratch]

An elderly lady is riding a bike with her hands off the handlebar because she's knittig.
A traffic police officer catches up with her.
Officer: Pull over.
Lady: No, this is a sweater.

[Scratch]

An elderly lady is riding a bike with her hands off the handlebar because she's knitting.
A traffic police officer catches up with her.
Officer: Pull over.
Lady: No, this is a sweater.

[bonia]

Great! It can"t be translated into Russian. And we have a lot of such untranslatable things.

[Scratch]

Traveling in a bus on tour around New York city, a prim young lady got shocked to hear an obviously newly immigrated old man saying to an attentive companion in a strong accent:
"Emma coma first, I coma next, two assa coma together, I coma again, two assa coma together again, I coma one-a-more, pee-pee twice, then I coma for the lasta time."
The youg lady blushed when he finished, and then, noticing a police officer sitting nearby, she whispered to him, " Aren't you going to arrest that terrible old man?"
The officer stared at her, genuinely bewildered, and said, "For what? For ...?

Who would finish this extremely decent joke?

 

[ibelk]

for boasting?