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Dear Editor,

I am writing to you about the concert in the club last Saturday
        .
The was an audience of 250 people and club was completely full.

The band was great!The crowd sang!They sang many songs, such as Rosenrot,Spieluhr and others
So, the band gave people what they wanted!

As for the club - it was awful
1. Bad guards
2. Everything has to be booked in advance
3. Small dance floor

The band started late and they must finished at 23.00, becouse  administration has limited time
Althought, the concert must started at 22.00, it was started at 22.30

Why you can not organize a concert more better then this? Why you take this place, you can take a sport hall.
We would not have to finish so early if everything had been prepared





Уважаемый редактор,

Я пишу вам о концерте в клубе в прошлую субботу
         .
Аудитория была из 250 человек и клуб был полностью заполнен.

Группа выступила великолепно! Толпа пела! Они исполнили много песен, таких как Rosenrot, Spieluhr и др.
Таким образом, группа дала людям то, что они хотели!

Что касается клуба - это было ужасно:
1. Ужастные охранников
2. Все должно быть забронированы заранее
3. Малый танцпол

Группа начала поздно, и они должны закончил в 23.00, потому что администрация ограничило время
Хотя, концерт должен началось в 22.00, он был начат в 22.30

Почему вы не можете организовать концерт еще лучше, чем это? Почему вы выбрали  это место, вы можете взять спортивный зал.
Мы бы не закончить так рано, если все было подготовлено

[Erica Blair]

1. Ужастные охранников
2. Все должно быть забронированы заранее
3. Малый танцпол

Группа начала поздно, и они должны закончил в 23.00, потому что администрация ограничило время
Хотя, концерт должен началось в 22.00, он был начат в 22.30

Почему вы не можете организовать концерт еще лучше, чем это? Мы бы не закончить так рано, если все было подготовлено

В английском есть ошибки, но русский ужасный.  Как такое может быть? Это не Ваш родной?

[Dan]

The was an audience - there...

The crowd sang - ...sang along (в смысле подпевала)

They sang many songs - я бы сказал "perfomed many songs"

Bad guards - скорее unskilled guards - они же не "плохие парни" а "неклалифицированные"

they must finished at  - had to finish

becouse  administration has limited time - ...had limited their time

the concert must started at  - was to start

Why you can not organize a concert more better then this? - коряво, может лучше why wouldn't you...

Why you take this place - why did you take...

you can take a sport hall - you should have taken - вам следовало бы взять...

We would not have to finish so early if everything had been prepared - we wouldn't have had to finish
                                                                                                    so early if everything had been arranged

[Dan]

...да, и ещё они, как я заметил, в случае если
концерт похвалить, обычно говорят не "band was great" ,
"the show was great"

[gezhel]

Проверьте, пожалуйста, текст на наличие грамматических и лексических ошибок

It is hard to speak about myself as only people surrounding me can see me objectively.  First of all let me introduce myself. My name is Svetlana  Oseeva. I'm 22  years old.
In this year I graduated with honours  Siberian state transport university. My specialty  is information systems and technologies. A theme of my degree work is  «universal report generator on the basis of a database with the open list of parameters»
My career started from computer center on the railway in Novosibirsk.
This summer I hade married and we spent honeymoon in St.-Petersburg, because it is one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
After that I returned in Novosibirsk for my work. But I was offered to work to computer center in  St.-Petersburg. And I have agreed.
And now I  leave in St.-Petersburg  and  worke in engineering and support department.
I have decided to enter postgraduate study because I want to pursue science. My major interest in the field of information systems and technologies is information security  and cloud computing. It is science where shared resources, software, and information are provided to computers and other devices  over a network. This researches cover a wide field of IT .
My future tutor is …

I don't have scientific works, but I participated in competition «New link» among young scientists in 2010. My theme was – intellectual agent on a railway transport.
Tastes differ. Different people like different things, different people have different hobbies. Apart from a science I have many other hobbies. One of them is a Hand made imitation jewellery from polymeric clay. I like dancing salsa … And my favorite sport is snowboard.

[Scratch]

Рассказ очень хороший, т.е. всё предельно понятно. Из лексики самая грубая ошибка - to leave (на восьмой строке). Но, как ни странно, по звучанию - почти "в яблочко" Как думаете, почему? Ну и по мелочам - hade, worke ...
Но править надо всё, т.е каждое предложение.

[JulieSkor]

Проверьте, пожалуйста:-)

The design for Sydney Opera House was selected from more than 230 submitted projects. The designer's name was John Utzon. He described the Opera House more like a  sculpture than a building, The lector talks about it as about a masterwork. The Sydney architectural masterpiece cannot be completely associated with any known style. It presents some kind of symbiosis between art and architecture and engineering and technology. It has different features of organic architecture and high-tech and it perfectly fits into environment.
Besides, it was really hard for engineers, designers and computer scientists to create this outstanding building. The Sydney Opera House had been under construction for 17 years. It has unusual form and unusual shape of the roof. It is the result of difficult computer calculations. And it pleases the eye of the observer.
These facts make the Sydney Opera House unique. We can not find the building like this on the whole planet.

[JulieSkor]

И во это, пожааалуйста)

Certainly, I agree with this statement. In my opinion, college years are the best years in the life. These years are intermediate between our childhood and adult life. When we are in college, we are already old enough for thinking by ourselves and making our own decisions. But not too old for fun and entertainment. So the years, that we spend in college are really unique. And they will never return.
College provides us with different opportunities. It teaches us to achieve goals, to make decisions, to concentrate on the different problems. It helps us to understand, who we are and what we really need in this life. College gives us the priceless experience that we can use during the whole life. Only in college we can choose the correct career direction. We can become more attentive, more concentrated, more intelligent. We can develop the leadeship features. College is a first step for success.
But college gives us not only standard academic knowledge in different subjects. It gives us an opportunity to communicate with different people. Only in college we can find friends that will be with us during the whole life.
In college we can develop all our talents. We can play sport games, sing, draw, play in the theatre, take part in different competitions. When we become a grown-ups, we will probably have no time for these entertainments. We will be busy at work and tired at home.
So, college years are the best time in our life. We should appreciate every year in college and try our best to use all opportunities, that college suggests.

[Scratch]

А на какой предмет требуется проверка? Текст отличный. Поаккуратней только с артиклями и пунктуацией.

[JulieSkor]

На грамматику и лексические ошибки)
Я к TOEFL готовлюсь, writing section.

[Scratch]

Мне добавить нечего. Только the lector я поменял бы на the lecturer.

[JulieSkor]

Спасибо)

[olgagal]

I can tell this is for TOEFL

Good essay, several suggestions though:


 It helps us to understand, who we are and what we really need in this life.
-help someone do something

Only in college we can choose the correct career direction.
- I'd rather say "right" instead of "correct".

We can develop the leadeship features.
Leadership skills, not features.

College is a first step for success.
the first
 
We can play sport games, sing, draw, play in the theatre, take part in different competitions.
Act in theater..

When we become a grown-ups,
plural

we will probably have no time for these entertainments.
I don't think that entertainment can be plural..

So, college years are the best time in our life. We should appreciate every year in college and try our best to use all opportunities, that college suggests.
College offers, not suggests

[JulieSkor]

Thank you very much :-)

[Cherry1905]

London is a small,lively and history town. If you are visiting
        London  in the autumn or spring, the weather will be rainy, so you
        will need to bring a raincoat, comfortable shoes. If you come in winter,
        you should bring warm clothes. At this time of year it can get very cold.
                 There are plenty of places to stay in London, such as hotel Luxury,
        hotel Standard, hotel 4 Star and etc. If are you travelling on a small
        budget, it’s best to hotel  BA, hotel Tourist Class, hotel 2 Star and etc.
        Even in the cheapest hotels impeccably polite staff, regardless of
        nationality.
                 Once you arrive in London it’s hard to get around. You can take
        a taxi,  to go by bus or subway. If you’re staying in the town centre,
        make sure you go by metro.
                 There is a lot of see in London. For example, there is London Eye
        (the tallest Ferris wheel in the world), Big Ben (high clock tower and
        a huge bell), Kensington Gardens (a huge green park in the city center)
        and etc. During the day you should go to eat on near restaurants or go to
        Chinatown. There's always cheap and tasty.
                 If you want to buy a typical souvenir, it’s best to go on shopping
         in different shops.

[Scratch]

a historical town - а почему small? Соответственно, почему town? Ведь ниже city упоминается ...
Перед временами года артикли не ставятся
Сначала название, затем hotel. Но обычно hotel не требуется. Достаточно названия с определённым артиклем.
it’s best to hotel  BA - странная комбинация
Even in the cheapest hotels impeccably polite staff, regardless of nationality. - предложение не получилось
make sure you go by metro - а что в вашей интерпретации это значит?
А знаете как в Британии и Лондоне метро называется?
There is a lot to see in ...
there is London Eye
you should go to eat on near restaurants - nearest; а почему предлог такой? И вместо to eat - to have lunch или a meal
There's always cheap and tasty. - Разве There is ... для этого?
to go on shopping in (?) different shops.

[JulieSkor]

Проверьте, пожалуйста:-) На грамматику и лексику.

According to the reading passage, the jet stream is an irregular band of wind that occurs in high levels of troposphere. The speed of jet streams differs from nearly 60 miles per hour to the 300 miles per hour. The jet stream is as stronger as greater the contrast in the temperature of the Earth and the atmosphere is. And jet streams make a strong influence on the weather. The strong stream of air in the troposphere can cause the storm in the surface of the Earth. There are two jet streams between the equator and the North Pole. They are subtropical and polar jet streams.
According to the lecture, jets streams affect air travel as well as the weather. For example, if the plane is flying toward the direction of the jet stream, the stream pushes the plane and helps it to move. And if the plane is flying against the jet stream, the air travel becomes longer and the plane spends more fuel then in case of tail wind.

[JulieSkor]

И еще вот это:-)
 
Some people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money. These people try to earn as much money as they can. They want to have only perfects things. Their houses are incredibly large, their cars are tremendously expensive, their clothes are really smart and brilliant. They eat only expensive food. These people cannot imagine their lives without money.
Certainly, I understand these people. In my opinion money are very necessary, but we should limit ourselves in making money. Although money mean a lot in this life, we should not afford them to replace other aspects of our life. There are lots of amazing and wonderful things besides money. For example, reading, sport, theatres, music and so forth. And if we devote all our free time to earning money, we cannot devote any time to anything else, even to our family. And if we have no time for our family, it seems to be really bad.
And that is why I agree with the statement that people should be satisfied to earn a comfortable living. If people limit themselves in earning money, they get more free time for others businesses. People ought to do something besides money making. They should spend more time with their family, especially with kids. If children grows up in bad conditions without love, tenderness and without their parents' attention, it doesn’t matter how much money their parents have. You can provide your children with expensive clothes and toys, with the nurse and home teachers, but if you don’t devote enough time to them, you are a bad parent.
Thus, people should realize that even very large amount of money will never make them happy. We should look for happiness in other sides of our life.

[Scratch]

Проверьте, пожалуйста:-) На грамматику и лексику.

According to the passage, a jet stream is an irregular band of wind that occurs in high levels of troposphere. The speed of jet streams differs from nearly 60 to 300 miles per hour. The greater the contrast in the temperature of the Earth and the atmosphere, the stronger the jet stream. And jet streams make a strong influence on the weather. Strong stream of air in the troposphere can cause storm on the surface of the Earth. There are two types of jet streams between the equator and the North Pole. They are the subtropical and the polar jet streams.
According to the lecture, jets streams affect air travel as well as the weather. For example, if a plane is flying toward (наверное, лучше along) the direction of the jet stream, the stream pushes the plane and helps it to move. And if the plane is flying against the jet stream, air travel becomes longer and the plane spends more fuel then in case of tail wind.

Тема мне не знакома, поэтому могут быть некоторые неточности.

[Scratch]

И еще вот это:-)
 
Some people believe that it is very important to know how to make a lot of money. Such people do their best to earn as much money as they can. They want to have only the best. Their houses are incredibly large, their cars are tremendously expensive, their clothes are really smart and brilliant (об одежде я бы не стал так говорить). They eat only expensive food. These people cannot imagine their lives without money.
Certainly, I can understand people like those. In my opinion money are (!!!) very necessary (essential), but we should limit ourselves in making money. Although money mean a lot in this life, we should not afford (разберитесь со значением этого слова) them (money - неисчисляемое !!!) to replace other aspects of our life. There are lots of amazing and wonderful things besides money. For example, reading, sports, the theatre, music and so on and so forth. And if we devote all our free time to earning money, we cannot devote any time to anything else, not even to our families. And if we have no time for our families, it seems to be really bad.
And that is why I agree with the statement that people should be satisfied with having earned a comfortable living (если я правильно понял вашу мысль). If people limit themselves in earning money, they get more free time to do other things. People ought to do something besides money making. They should spend more time with their families, especially with their kids. If children grows (!!!) up in bad conditions without love, tenderness and without their parents' attention, it doesn’t matter how much money their parents have. You can provide your children with expensive clothes and toys, with a nurse and a few home teachers, but if you don’t devote enough time to them, you are a bad parent.
Thus, people should realize that even very big money will never make them happy. We should look for happiness in other sides of our life.

Внесённые мной лексические изменения не бесспорны, это моё понимание ситуации.